News & Announcements

Here is the reprint from our February email newsletter, if you are interested in receiving articles like these, plus calendar items and announcements, sign up here: Community Connections

Wishing you all a belated Happy New Year! Our February issue likely finds you back to work, trying to stay warm, and hunting for cabin fever remedies. And just when you thought you’d made it through the holidays, here comes another one (see below). But the days are getting longer and signs of spring are on the horizon, so keep the faith, the sun is out, the crocuses are coming and even Valentine’s Day is doable!

“Love doesn’t make the world go round, love is what makes the ride worthwhile.”
–Elizabeth Browning

The “L” Word

Well here comes another Valentine’s day. Good news if you own a card company or have a sweetheart. Is it bad news if you don’t? Not necessarily…

The History of Valentines Day is a little gray with mention of Roman soldiers, saints and such- but no one can debate the be-all end-all of the day: LOVE. Yes, it’s true that romantic love has traditionally stolen the spotlight for centuries but these are modern times- times that recognize 152 types of intelligence and get this- somewhere between 3 and 11 types of love (depending on your source; the Greeks, the Bible or Psychology Today). We even have 50 ways in which to leave one.

So, here’s the good news- in addition to our romantic relationships we have many other outlets and inlets for love- BIG love. How about our friendships, children, family and pets? Yes, those relationships too are worthy of celebration on the 14th. So if romance is in your cards carry on- if for whatever reason it isn’t, read on!

5 ideas for Celebrating Valentine’s Day 2010…
1. Celebrate your friendships: see a movie, have a dinner party, go to lunch
2. Celebrate with the children in your life: make Valentines, bake cookies, get an ice cream together, see a movie
3. Send cards(or e-cards for a greener day) to people you know who may otherwise not be getting one
4. Do something nice for someone in memory of someone you love
5. Bring in some flowers or treats to a nursing home or shelter

Whatever you do, try to enjoy the day. Recall the love in your life that you have given and recieved. Maybe it wasn’t perfect. Maybe it didn’t last as long as you would have liked. Maybe it has at times caused more angst than assurance. Still, it’s good stuff.
This Month:

Cooking For You:
Cereal for Supper? If you are new to cooking on your own, or never mastered the basics in the kitchen, join our resident chef Ed Gurka for this hands on workshop that will have you cooking and eating deliciously and nutritiously! This is a hands on cooking class, you will be on your feet in the kitchen, learning how to use utensils and read a recipe. Space is limited, please call to sign up.
Wednesday 2/24, 5:00-7:00
Call to register: 846-0350
Next Month

Have you lost a loved one this year? Are you wondering if your grief is too strong or lasting too long? Join us for our 6 week support and education program, Building Bridges (with Hospice at VNS of Newport and Bristol Counties, to dispel the myths and shed some light on the real road to healing and peace after loss.
Wednesday, March 3rd 4:30-6:00pm
Call Alison to register
682-2100 x485
Coming Up…

Side-By-Side: Loss of a Spouse/Partner:
Are you grieving the loss of your spouse or partner? Join us for this 6-week program to share stories and support while exploring ideas for staying healthy through this challenging time.
Thursday, April 1st
4:30-6:00pm
Call to register: 846-0350

We have some dates set for our 2010 Aftercare progam Support Groups.  Please sign up for the email newsletter for updates and additional programs.

February 24th
5-7pm
Saint Barnabas Church
1697 East Main Rd
Portsmouth, RI
Cooking For You: Cereal for supper? Not anymore! Join our resident chef, Ed Gurka and company for this hands-on workshop that will have you cooking and eating deliciously and nutritiously.

March 3rd
4:30-6:00pm
United Congregational Church
524 Valley Road Valley Road
Middletown, RI
Building Bridges: Our six week general education and support group with Hospice @ VNS of Newport and Bristol Counties

April 1st
4:30-6:00pm
United Congregational Church
524 Valley Road Valley Road
Middletown, RI
Side-By-Side: Loss of a Spouse /Partner
Our six week support and education group for those grieving the loss of a spouse or partner

If there’s there another culture in the world that adores, indulges and pampers pets more than ours I don’t know of it. We Americans consider our pets as friends, playmates and part of the family. They act as confidants, commiserators and often co-conspirators. They tolerate our moods, rejoice in our attention and even appreciate our children.

We’d like to share with the community to congratulate our community pet heroes, the Robert Potter League for Animals, in their new facility, the Gold LEED certification for a sustainable design and construction, and for the many volunteers that make the place a wonderful place to give back.

“Animals are such agreeable friends - they ask no questions, they pass no criticisms.”
George Eliot

If you are not one of the 57% of all Americans who have a pet, you may want to consider it. Science is backing what many of us have long felt. Pets are good for us in more ways than one.

Research shows that caring for an animal can improve your mental and physical well-being-with a few caveats.

By Karen Springen
Newsweek Web Exclusive Jan 11, 2008

Sure, pets provide companionship and unconditional love. But research has shown that they can also help reduce stress and blood pressure in owners, increase longevity in those who’ve had heart attacks, and even relax and improve the appetites of Alzheimer’s patients. “Any disease condition that has a stress-related component to it, we believe pets could ameliorate stress and moderate the situation,” says biologist Erika Friedmann, a professor at the University of Maryland School of Nursing.
Click for more.

“If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you. This is the principal difference between a dog and a man.”
Mark Twain

From our March issue of Community Connections Newsletter

For information about what to do when you have lost a best friend pet, contact the funeral home, we have products for pet memorials, urns, and advice about creating a special tribute.

Free admission with the donation of a non-perishable food item to benefit the MLK food pantry

Holiday classics “Rudolph the Red Nose Reindeer” and “How the Grinch Stole Christmas”, the originals,

will be on the big screen in a free holiday double feature.

Sunday, December 6, starting at 4:00pm,

Jane Pickens Theater, Washington Sq, Newport

how the grinch stole christmas

rudolph the red nose reindeer

Thanks to Marion A. for passing this along, the short list to avoiding or at least being prepared for identity theft:

Read this and make a copy for your files in case you need to refer to it someday. A corporate attorney sent the following out to the employees in his company:

1. Do not sign the back of your credit cards. Instead, put ‘PHOTO ID REQUIRED.’

2. When you are writing checks to pay on your credit card accounts,DO NOT put the complete account number on the ‘For’ line. Instead, just put the last four numbers. The credit card company knows the rest of the number, and anyone who might be handling your check as it passes through all the check processing channels won’t have access to it.

3. Put your work phone # on your checks instead of your home phone. If you have a PO Box use that instead of your home address. If you do not have a PO Box, use your work address. Never have your SS# printed on your checks. (DUH!) You can add it if it is necessary. But if you have It printed, anyone can get it.

4. Place the contents of your wallet on a photocopy machine. Do both sides of each license, credit card, etc. You will know what you had in your wallet and all of the account numbers and phone numbers to call and cancel. Keep the photocopy in a safe place.
I also carry a photocopy of my passport when I travel either here or abroad. We’ve all heard horror stories about fraud that’s committed on us in stealing a Name, address, Social Security number, credit cards.

Unfortunately, I, an attorney, have first hand knowledge because my wallet was stolen last month. Within a week, the thieves ordered an expensive monthly cell phone package, applied for a VISA credit card, had a credit line approved to buy a Gateway computer, received a PIN number from DMV to change my driving record information online, and more.
But here’s some critical information to limit the damage in case this happens to you or someone you know:

5. We have been told we should cancel our credit cards immediately. But the key is having the toll free numbers and your card numbers handy so you know whom to call. Keep those where you can find them.

6. File a police report immediately in the jurisdiction where your credit cards, etc., were stolen. This proves to credit providers you were diligent, and this is a first step toward an investigation (if there ever is one).

But here’s what is perhaps most important of all: (I never even thought to do this.)
7. Call the 3 national credit reporting organizations immediately to place a fraud alert on your name and also call the Social Security fraud line number. I had never heard of doing that until advised by a bank that called to tell me an application for credit was made over the Internet in my name.

The alert means any company that checks your credit knows your information was stolen, and they have to contact you by phone to authorize new credit.

By the time I was advised to do this, almost two weeks after the theft, all the damage had been done. There are records of all the credit checks initiated by the thieves’ purchases, none of which I knew about before placing the alert. Since then, no additional damage has been done, and the thieves threw my wallet away this weekend (someone turned it in). It seems to have stopped them dead in their tracks.

Now, here are the numbers you always need to contact about your wallet, if it has been stolen:

1.) Equifax: 1-800-525-6285

2.) Experian (formerly TRW): 1-888-397-3742

3.) Trans Union : 1-800-680 7289

4.) Social Security Administration (fraud line):
1-800-269-0271

Common Sense Disclaimer: this is friendly advice, and is not a substitute for the advice of an attorney or other professional to assist in remediating an identity theft

The following article is reprinted with exact detail of the military honors ceremony.  Here in Rhode Island, the RI National Guard Funeral Honors Program is an excellent tribute to our Veterans.  Full honors are provided to every RI resident veteran, and especially here in Newport, the families appreciate their efforts.  We also have the benefit of the RI Veterans Memorial Cemetery in Exeter, we’ll post more information about that later.

What is Military Funeral Honors?

Military Funeral Honors is a way to demonstrate this Nation’s deep gratitude to those who, both in times of war and peace, have faithfully defended our country.

The core elements of a military funeral honors ceremony consists of the folding and presentation of the American Flag and the Playing of Taps. A firing volley by rifle may also be provided, if requested.As of January 1,, 2000, Section 578 of Public Law 106-65 of the National Defense Authorization Act mandates that the U.S. military must provide the rendering of U.S. military funeral honors for an eligible veteran if requested by the family. As provided by law, an honor guard detail for the burial of an eligible veteran shall consist of not less than two members of the Armed Forces. One member of the detail shall be a representative of the parent Service of the deceased veteran. The honor detail will, at a minimum, perform a ceremony that includes the folding and presenting of the American flag to the next of kin and the playing of Taps. Taps will be played by a bugler, if available, or by electronic recording. Today, there are so few buglers available that the Military Services often cannot provide one.

Military Funeral Honors are provided by the Department of Defense at no cost to the family. The Services requests at least 48 hours in order to organize the funeral honors detail. Families of eligible veterans request funeral honors through their funeral director. The funeral director will contact the appropriate Military Service to arrange for the funeral honors detail and will assist you in obtaining a flag. More information is available at: http://www.militaryfuneralhonors.osd.mil/index.html

Who is eligible for Military Funeral Honors?

- Military members on active duty or in the Selected Reserve.
- Former military members who served on active duty and departed under conditions other than dishonorable.
- Former military members who completed at least one term of enlistment or period of initial obligated service in the Selected Reserve and departed under conditions other than dishonorable.
- Former military members discharged from the Selected Reserve due to a disability incurred or aggravated in the line of duty.Further clarification on eligibility is available in United States Code.

3-Volley Salute

The 3-volley salute is a ceremonial act performed at military and police funerals as part of the drill and ceremony of the Honor Guard. The custom originates from the European dynastic wars, where the fighting ceased for the dead and wounded to be removed, then three shots were fired into the air to signal that the battle could resume.

A rifle party usually has an odd number of members from 3 to 7. The firearm used is typically a rifle, but at some police funerals, shotguns or sidearms are used. The party usually stands so that the muzzles are pointed over the casket, or some distance away if the funeral attendees are too close to it. If the service is being performed indoors, the firing party stands outside the building, often near the front entrance.

On the command of the NCO-in-charge, the party fires their weapons three times in unison. Modern United States military parties use modified M1, M14 or M16 rifles manually cycling the weapon between shots.The M1 and M14 are generally preferred over the current issue M16 because the appearance of these older rifles is more traditional and the charging handles are more easily operated in a dignified, ceremonial manner.

The three-volley salute is not to be confused with the 21-gun salute (or 19-gun or 17-gun, etc) which uses a battery of artillery pieces.

TAPS

Of all the military bugle calls, none is so easily recognized or more apt to render emotion than Taps. Up to the Civil War, the traditional call at day’s end was a tune, borrowed from the French, called Lights Out. In July of 1862, in the aftermath of the bloody Seven Days battles, hard on the loss of 600 men and wounded himself, Union General Daniel Adams Butterfield called the brigade bugler to his tent. He thought “Lights Out” was too formal and he wished to honor his men. Oliver Wilcox Norton, the bugler, tells the story, “…showing me some notes on a staff written in pencil on the back of an envelope, (he) asked me to sound them on my bugle. I did this several times, playing the music as written. He changed it somewhat, lengthening some notes and shortening others, but retaining the melody as he first gave it to me. After getting it to his satisfaction, he directed me to sound that call for Taps thereafter in place of the regulation call. The music was beautiful on that still summer night and was heard far beyond the limits of our Brigade. The next day I was visited by several buglers from neighboring Brigades, asking for copies of the music which I gladly furnished. The call was gradually taken up through the Army of the Potomac.”
This more emotive and powerful Taps was soon adopted throughout the military. In 1874 it was officially recognized by the U.S. Army. It became standard at military funeral ceremonies in 1891. There is something singularly beautiful and appropriate in the music of this wonderful call. Its strains are melancholy, yet full of rest and peace. Its echoes linger in the heart long after its tones have ceased to vibrate in the air.

- from an article by Master Sergeant Jari A Villanueva, USAF.

WHY THE AMERICAN FLAG IS FOLDED 13 TIMES

Have you ever noticed at military funerals that the honor guard pays meticulous attention to correctly folding the American flag 13 times?

The first fold of our flag is a symbol of life.

The second fold is a symbol of our belief in eternal life.

The third fold is made in honor and remembrance of the veterans departing our ranks who gave a portion of their lives for the defense of our country to attain peace throughout the world.

The fourth fold represents our weaker nature, for as American citizens trusting in God, it is to Him we turn in times of peace as well as in time of war for His divine guidance.

The fifth fold is a tribute to our country, for in the words of Stephen Decatur, “Our Country, in dealing with other countries, may she always be right; but it is still our country, right or wrong.”

The sixth fold is for where our hearts lie. It is with our heart that we pledge allegiance to the flag of the United States Of America, and to the Republic for which it stands, one Nation under God, indivisible, with Liberty and Justice for all.

The seventh fold is a tribute to our Armed Forces, for it is through the Armed Forces that we protect our country and our flag against all her enemies, whether they be found within or without the boundaries of our republic.

The eighth fold is a tribute to the one who entered into the valley of the shadow of death, that we might see the light of day, and to honor mother, for whom it flies on Mother’s Day.

The ninth fold is a tribute to womanhood; for it has been through their faith, their love, loyalty and devotion that the character of the men and women who have made this country great has been molded.

The tenth fold is a tribute to the father, for he, too, has given his sons and daughters for the defense of our country since they were first born.

The eleventh fold, in the eyes of a Hebrew citizen represents the lower portion of the seal of King David and King Solomon, and glorifies in their eyes, the God of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob.

The twelfth fold, in the eyes of a Christian citizen, represents an emblem of eternity and glorifies, in their eyes, God the Father, the Son, and Holy Spirit.

When the flag is completely folded, the stars are uppermost reminding us of our nation’s motto, “In God We Trust”. After the flag is completely folded and tucked in, it takes on the appearance of a cocked hat, ever reminding us of the soldiers who served under General George Washington, and the sailors and marines who served under Captain John Paul Jones, who were followed by their comrades and shipmates in the Armed Forces of the United States, preserving for us the rights, privileges, and freedoms we enjoy today.

To whom can I write to express comments or concerns about the Military Funeral Honors program?

You may write to:
Military Funeral Honors
10100 Reunion Place, Suite 260
San Antonio TX 78216-4138

Below is the article from our Community Connections email newsletter about our friends at Hospice VNS.  We have been working with VNS for nearly two decades at providing families the support they need before, during, and after the death of a loved one.  Our collaboration became even closer with the creation of Building Bridges, the six week grief support program that started at  Memorial Funeral Home and has been built upon by VNS.  We look forward to many more years.

Hospice at Visiting Nurse Services of Newport and Bristol Counties: Building Bridges with Memorial Funeral Home for 3 years running!

It’s Fall, and time to start thinking about Bereavement Education Groups.  Again this year, through our Building Bridges collaborative, we are joining with Hospice at Visiting Nurse Services of Newport and Bristol Counties to present four 6-week General Bereavement Education Groups.  These groups are open to the public and provide an overview of the grieving process.   Following completion of the 6-week group, participants are invited to attend the monthly “Graduate Group” as a way of continuing their journey through grief with others who understand what the grief experience is like.  While offered in the beautiful setting of the United Congregational Church in Middletown, these groups are not church-affiliated.  Alison Seran, the Hospice Social Worker, and Barbara Carnes, the Hospice Bereavement Coordinator will again facilitate these groups.

Originally from New Jersey, Alison’s life and social work career have taken her to Virginia, Wyoming, Japan, Seattle, and most recently, Rhode Island.  She Joined VNS of Newport and Bristol Counties in 2006 and has served as a hospice social worker and co-facilitator of our ongoing bereavement groups.

Barbara grew up on Aquidneck Island but left after graduating from college.  She returned twelve years ago with many experiences related to loss and bereavement.  Those experiences included personal losses and her work as a mental health nurse with patients and families facing terminal illness.  She has been the Bereavement  Coordinator at Hospice of Visiting Nurses of Newport and Bristol Counties since 2006.

Alison and Barbara look forward to welcoming back our graduates on September 1, and meeting new Building Bridges group participants on September 23.”

an excerpt from our recent Community Connections email newsletter…

A Walk in the Woods By John Lofy

Professor Rachel Kaplan’s office at U-M’s School of Natural Resources and Environment looks out over a large oak tree. Potted plants crowd her window sill. Beyond these small patches of nature loom the buildings of central campus. But, she says, a little bit of nature goes a long way.

She would know. Kaplan and her husband, professor Stephen Kaplan, were among the first academics to study the psychological benefits of nature. Colleagues and collaborators for decades, they have shown that natural settings-trees, grass, gardens, and the like-have a profound, positive impact on both mental and physical health.

Both Kaplans hold joint appointments: Rachel in SNRE and Psychology, Stephen in Psychology and Electrical Engineering and Computer Science. They both take particular pride in graduate students they have mentored over the years. Students working with the Kaplans have made some striking discoveries…
(more)

Well, here we are, knee-deep in June (Riley). Who can argue that this is a special month; with everything blooming, hatching, and growing all around us.

Those of us who love the water are back on it with paddle, sail or board. Those of us who love the garden are plotting and potting with soil, seeds and a glad heart.

People say that in the hardest of times “Life pulls you forward”. June is a 30 day example of that. You can’t deny the sounds, smells and sights of life happening and asking if not begging you to join it.

“Gladness” may be a lot to ask if you’re grieving, but peace can be found out there too. It’s worth opening the door.  -MR

“I only went out for a walk and finally

concluded to stay out till sundown,

for going out, I found, was really going in.”

~John Muir, 1913

Tonight is our Memory Gardens class with Chaves Gardens, and it draws to an end the calendar of events for Community Connections.  While Chaves has  several classes like this through the spring and summer, our class is specifically for those who have particpated in one of our grief support groups, such as the 6 week program Building Bridges.   The Mem0ry Gardens seminar will guide a group of people who have lost a loved one through the process of creating a special tribute.  The flowers and plants that are created and arranged in the class are intended to be therapeutic in the gardening process itself, but also to create a living memorial for the loved one who has died.

Just a few weeks ago the funeral home also extended a special invitation to many of the families we have helped through our funeral home and our support groups over the last few years.  Jane Pickens was host to Michael Dutra, a singer and performer who provided an evening of Frank Sinatra classics.  More than 40 people accepted our complimentary ticket to “Simply Sinatra” and enjoyed a great evening of memories, camaraderie, and fun.  We hope to find more events like this to give people a good reason to get out again, meet some new friends, and enjoy the memories of their loved ones.

Keep an eye out through the summer for our emails, click here to sign up if you haven’t already, and we look forward to seeing many of you at next years events.