by Maria Rege
On July 3rd, I had my broadcast debut on WADK with Brian Hubbard, LICSW, (who practices Empowerment Therapy in Newport) on his weekly (Saturdays at 10am) stress management show (Stress Busters, week 22) to talk a little bit about the stress of grief; how it manifests and how we cope with it’s symptoms. After employing a few breathing techniques, I was able to answer the questions posed to me, but I left with questions of my own. Namely, how does someone with visual and hearing impairments find himself authoring books, speaking nationally, creating a successful non-profit organization (Counseling For Independent Living), and offering counsel to hundreds of people challenged by change?
(Maria) How long ago did you lose your ability to see and hear and what was the cause?
(Brian) My hearing was noticed as an infant when I didn’t turn to face my dear mom when she came in to welcome the morning to me. The diagnosis of retinitis pigmentosa, or RP, followed. The RP, a progressive disease, slowly kept deteriorating, loss after loss, but with adjustment time as well, until finally I lost all my vision between years of 1996-1998, characterized by some good days, some bad days, and finally all bad days. This put more stress on my communication issues as my ability to ‘lip read’ was compromised, and you know the rest of that story with a double cochlear implant. At my last testing, I was told my hearing just about normal in pure tones and much improved with background noise.
(M) How do your challenges affect your ability to offer counsel to people?
(B) I think I can safely say I am an expert in loss and grief, also having become quite interested and specializing in spiritual issues. By spiritual, I do not mean religious, although religion can be anchored in spirituality, but, rather to find an ability to find authentic inner peace.
(M) What is your guiding philosophy when working with people challenged by loss and change?
(B) My guiding philosophy is to let people be, to let them be themselves, establishing a trusting alliance, so we can explore together where their pain in life is anchored. Eventually, I help them come to see that pain is a positive thing, as it is a body signal telling us on an authentic level, that something is ‘off’ in our lives and we need to shift a bit to get back on track in alignment with our authentic lives, steps necessary to become more empowered and live more satisfying lives. This is not glorification or romanticization of pain, nor is it a welcoming of it, but to be understood for what it really is, a beautiful body signal, as the body never lies, telling us that we really need to shift our ship’s course to bring reason and passion back into balance again, to make life really worth living again, just as I have come to do.
(M) Are there one or two suggestions you can make for people who are feeling overwhelmed by their
situation- people who, for the moment, cannot see the light at the end of the tunnel?
(B) For those burdened with whatever form of pain, the very first step to transcending the ego into true awareness into the peaceful inner world is just that, awareness. The split second one becomes aware of being entrapped into their inauthentic selves, which is signaled by bodily emotional pain, they are taking the very first step into awareness and are no longer identifying with their pain, but, rather, detaching from it and becoming aware that many more choices are really at disposal. This in itself can be very uplifting. There are many techniques to accomplish this in addition to insight oriented psychotherapy, including mindfulness techniques, progressive body relaxation and other awareness techniques. The important issue to understand is that these techniques are ‘means’ to reach the ‘here and now’ goal of presence and awareness of one’s spiritual self, a state of being as opposed to doing.
(M) Thank you Brian!
For more information, please visit Brian’s website.
